2020 is officially over and I think that I can safely say we were all ready for the new year. 2020 for some was a really bad year, world wide pandemic, loss of jobs, loss of loved ones, scary moments and A LOT of change. But for me 2020 was the year that I found out who my true friends and family were. I tried new things, I pushed myself to be better, more honest, more open and overall worked on being a better person. I finished junior college this fall and will graduate this spring. I planted and grew my own garden, got chickens, loved my home life. 2020 was the year I truly found ME and allowed myself to love me for who I am.
I have amazing friends. They are supportive, kind, caring, loving, non judge mental and humans that you can call at anytime of the day and they have your back. I LOVE my circle I have created for myself. The women in my circle are strong, courageous, beautiful on the inside and out, and they are true. True to themselves, their friends, their families and the people in their lives. Without my circle the last year I am not 100% sure where I would be today. They helped me, supported me and picked me up when I was down (boy was I at a low the beginning of last year). But over all that they loved me and saw me for me. They had my back and helped me become the person I am and for that I will always be thankful.
2021 is officially here and I am not going to lie, I struggled the first few days. Reflecting, questioning what I wanted and what my goals were. But once I allowed myself to feel my feelings and opened up to a couple of my closest friends I realized again that we all have down days. We are HUMAN we struggle and we get back up. But I have learned that it is ok to lean on someone else if you need help.
This week I decided that I needed to change up my hair again. I texted my best friend since birth who is my hairstylist and asked her if she could give me any hair cut what would it be? She then responded with pictures of powerful women with Mohawks. I thought ok….And asked her if she truly thought I could rock it. I don’t have a slim face or body and was always afraid of what a cut like that would look like. But she responded ABSOLUTELY you can rock it. Em’s motto in life is “Anyone can wear red lipstick if they have the confidence to put it on.” Those words struck me and made me realize I needed to have the confidence and trust her, she’s never let me down. So I made the appointment and 5 mins later watched my hair hit the ground. At one point I looked at her in the mirror and said “what the F*** did we just do?” She started laughing and said don’t worry. Well 1.5 hours later I had a new to me hair cut. I wasn’t to excited about it at first but as the next hour went on and I restyled it to help me figure out how to make it me, I started to fall in love with it!
I went to a friends for dinner and was greeted by her four year old daughter. She opened the door with excitement looked at me and her face dropped. I knew she saw my new hair. All of a sudden she started jumping up and down with excitement and said “Lizzy! you got a new hairstyle and I love it!” That moment right there made me find the confidence to love it even more. I believe that children truly see people for who they are and are brutally honest. Even though she is little her opinion of me meant a lot!
I started to self reflect the next day. I sat in my car while I had time to kill and asked myself “why did watching the hair fall to the ground effect me so much? Why does the hair that I normally wear in a hat matter to me?” Well once I really started to think about these questions I was asking myself I realized that it was the stigma that was put on not only me but I feel most women as we grow up. We are taught that as women we need to have long, gorgeous hair to be even prettier, we are taught to mold into the person we think someone else wants us to be. Watching the hair hit the ground made me think to myself, how am I supposed to be feminine and beautiful without my hair? (And the people that know me know it wasn’t long but it definitely wasn’t this short. ) But I came to the realization that hair doesn’t make me feminine, it doesn’t make me beautiful, my hair DOESN’T define me! I found that in the first 24 hours of having my mohawk I have found more self confidence. I found myself actually putting make up because I wanted to, not because I felt I needed to. I completely mohawked my hair and LOVED it! I’ve learned that I would rather have a mohawk and become more myself with an easy to do hair cut then put my hair up everyday.
The last year I have learned that I would rather be disliked for who I am then go another day living for someone else. We only get one life! And I am sure as heck going to live mine. I am going to love myself and my friends/family. I am going to continue to be the person people can call for help, I am going to continue to better myself and my education because I want to. I am going to continue to be someone that my friends kids can look up to and realize they can be them. I am THANKFUL for the morals and standards that I was taught. I would rather be a confident, self loving, good human who has others back any day over being the person that molds into societies standards. I am going to continue to be thankful for the strong women role models in my life that helped form me into the woman I am today and hope I can be a role model to others.
So if you want to make a change do it! Have the confidence to be you! Have the confidence to love yourself and have the confidence to be the person you needed to see when you were a kid! Here is to 2021 and being genuinely happy and YOU!
Liz's Gypsy Journey 